Fall Apart, I'll Build You Up
by CapeCodPhoenix
Summary: Rachel wants a divorce. Finn wants Rachel. Quinn just wants Rachel to be happy.
1. Chapter 1

**So, I was just listening to this song, and the idea popped into my head and I ran with it. I know I shouldn't be starting _another_ story. God knows how many unfinished stories I'm working on right now. I've got some ideas for more chapters, but I guess I'll let y'all let me know if it's even worth continuing.**

* * *

He knew he'd made mistakes. He wasn't exactly the smartest, so he'd made a lot of them, but at the end of the day, Rachel was the only girl he'd ever loved, and he would love her until the day he died.

She'd handed him the papers the other day, saying she wanted a divorce. She told him that they'd both changed, and she hadn't been in love with him for a while, and that she thinks she's in love with someone else.

But when he'd seen her talking with Quinn today, it had clicked. Quinn was stealing his Rachel.

He wasn't intending to cause a scene, but then he didn't seem to understand that singing to her at their high school reunion would do exactly that.

He grabbed the microphone and after clearing his throat, effectively gathering everyone's attention, he began to sing.

_I can't find a reason to let go  
__Even though you've found a new love  
__And she's what your dreams are made of  
__I can find a reason to hang on  
__What went wrong can be forgiven  
__Without you, it ain't worth livin' alone._

_Sometimes I wake up crying at night  
And sometimes I scream out your name  
What right does she have to take you away  
When for so long you were mine_

_Took out all the pictures of our wedding day_  
_It was a time of love and laughter_  
_Happy ever after_  
_But even those old pictures have begun to fade_  
_Please tell me she's not real_  
_That you're really coming home to stay_

_Sometimes I wake up crying at night_  
_And sometimes I scream out your name_  
_What right does she have to take your heart away_  
_When for so long you were mine_

_I can give you two good reasons  
To show you love's not blind_  
_He's two and she's four and you know they adore you_  
_So how can I tell them you've changed your mind_

_Sometimes I wake up crying at night_  
_And sometimes I scream out your name_  
_What right does she have to take your heart away_  
_When for so long you were mine_

_I remember when you were mine_

**Quinn's POV**

Rachel was fuming, not that I could blame her. Her soon-to-be ex-husband was causing a scene in the middle of the reunion. It was a classic Finn move, really. I mean, in high school he had made everything about him, even when it really had nothing to do with him, so it wasn't surprising that he'd do the same thing now.

Rachel and I had become best friends since senior year, and though I knew I was in love with her, I was very careful to never cross that line. I knew that if anything were to happen between Rachel and I that she would have to be the one to start things. I never let my more-than-friendly feelings show, even when Finn wasn't around. I respected Rachel too much to destroy her relationship with Finn. He had managed to do that all by himself.

It was almost a month ago when Rachel turned up at my apartment once again, after Finn had cancelled their plans to take their kids to the zoo (for the seventh time) in favor of spending more time with the boys, playing (losing money in) poker. She held two-year-old Zachariah on her hip, her other hand clasped with that of her four-year-old daughter, Josephine.

It was later that night, after the kids had fallen asleep that she had told me that she wanted to get a divorce. It was that night that she told me that she thought she might have feelings for me.

**Rachel's POV**

I was beyond furious with Finn. How _dare_ he? I marched up to him, dragging him away from the microphone, not that it helped that much because I started yelling at him. I realized that he really identified with what he was singing, even if his view of things was skewed.

"How _dare_ you, Finn Hudson," I screeched, not caring that everyone could hear me after the song he'd just sung. "I understand that you're upset, but singing _that_ song in front of all these people who don't need to know the intricacies of our personal lives. You make it sound like we were happy and I up and cheated on you! Newsflash Hudson, you disappeared from our lives a long time ago. And how _dare_ you imply that I'm leaving our children! When was the last time you've spent any time with Zachariah or Josephine? I'll tell you. It's been _months_ since you've made any attempt at being a part of our family. While you were off _losing_ our hard-earned money to your poker buddies, Quinn has been taking us to the zoo. Which, by the way, is where you were supposed to be when you decided you'd rather gamble away our livelihoods. Yes, Finn, we were in love. _Were_. You started pulling away before Zachariah was even born, and about a week after his birth you were just gone. Only home to sleep. So yes, I started leaning on my best friend for support. She held me when I cried because you couldn't be bothered to even come home for a family dinner. And I _tried_ to talk to you, but you wouldn't have it. You were never around, and the few times you were you wouldn't listen. I _tried so hard_ to make it work between us, even after I realized I wasn't in love with you, and I did that for our kids, but when it became clear that you couldn't be bothered to spend time with them either, I'd had enough. At that point I'd realized for a while that I had feelings for Quinn, but I had never acted on them. In fact, I only told her about them after I had told her that I was planning on giving you a divorce. So you can take your self-pity and go wave it somewhere else because it's entirely your fault. _You_ were the one who gave up on this family. Not me. _You_."


	2. Chapter 2

**Santana's POV**

"So," I said, "You and Berry, huh?"

"After five years, that's what you have to say?" Quinn retorted.

"I'm sorry, okay," I said quietly, "I really miss you."

Quinn smiled softly, and I knew that we would be okay. It was nice to know that Quinn and I, no matter how long we were apart, would still be just as close as we were in high school. It didn't matter that we hadn't spoken in five years because we were still the same, at least with each other.

"I've missed you, too, S," Quinn said.

"So, you and Berry, huh?" I tried again.

Quinn laughed, "No, nothing's changed. I mean, everything's changed, but we're still just friends. For now anyway."

"She told you she loves you and you expect me to believe that nothing happened?" I raised my eyebrow, the way she always used to do in high school.

Quinn quirked her eyebrow in response, and it was exactly the way she used to, and undoubtedly better than mine, though I'd never admit it. "She never professed her love for me. She told me she thinks she has feelings for me."

"And you said?"

"I said that I would always be her best friend, but that nothing could happen between us while she was still married to Finn, even if divorcing him was her intention, which she had already told me it was."

"And how do you really feel, Q?" I asked.

Quinn arched her brow again, and I knew the answer. She'd been in love with Rachel since she'd first laid eyes on her freshman year. I don't know how I missed that.

"Really, Q, you've been in love with her for fourteen years?" Santana asked.

Quinn shrugged, "Denial's a bitch and so was I."

I chuckled, "Got that right."

**Quinn's POV**

I was walking towards the refreshments when I felt my wrist being jerked in the opposite direction I was going. I turned around to find myself face to face with none other than Finn Hudson. I wasn't surprised. I knew that it would happen, but I had hoped that the confrontation would take place somewhere a little more private. If he wanted to be bitched out in front of all his old classmates again, that was his decision.

"Where is she?" he asked, although it sounded more like an accusation than anything else.

I sighed, knowing that getting angry wasn't going to make anything better. "After the scene you caused, Rachel asked me to drive her to her fathers' house. I imagine she's still there."

Finn nodded.

"Would you please release me?" I asked him, my voice was soft and calm, though inside I was struggling to remain that way.

He looked down, his eyes widening at his own hand wrapped around my wrist. He recoiled as if he'd been burned and I moved my arm to my side.

"Why'd you do it?" he asked me.

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. I hadn't done anything wrong.

"Why'd I do what, Finn?"

"Steal her from me."

"First of all, Hudson, Rachel is not a possession to be stolen, she is a living, breathing, _caring_ human being. Second of all, she's still your wife for the time being, she hasn't gone anywhere yet, though when she does leave it will have been your own doing, not mine. I have _never_ asked Rachel to leave you, certainly not for me. All I have done is supported her as a best friend does."

"But I thought…"

I cut him off, "Yes, Hudson, I have feelings for your wife. No, she doesn't know about them. And no, I do not intend to enlighten her about them whilst you are still her husband."

"But…"

"And while we're on the subject of you being her husband, though at this point it really is just a legal term, when was the last time you cared about her at all? Or your kids, for that matter? The sheer number of times that they've turned up on my doorstep because you blew off plans with them is outrageous. I think it's sad that I've been more of a parent to your own kids than you have. And while I wouldn't trade the time I've spent with them for anything, it _should_ have been you, Finn. _You_ should be the one tucking them in at night, reading to them, taking them to the zoo, cutting up their dinners, not me. But you were never around. And Rachel, you and I both know that she should be on Broadway right now, not working retail to support your gambling addiction. So before you start accusing me of anything, think about how she has given up her dreams for you, but all you've managed to give her is a ring tied to broken promises, and two beautiful children that you ignore."

I turned to walk away when he said, "If you're so good for her, why aren't you with her now."

I turned back toward him, getting right in his face, or as close as I could get to it with the height difference. "Because I respect her too much to allow her to get into a situation where it might be construed as cheating. Unlike some people, I don't goad the girl I like to like me while they're clearly with somebody else. And because if I let her in like that now, you'd take everything from her in the divorce. She deserves the best."

And with that I walked away from him, letting everything I'd said sink in.


	3. Chapter 3

**Rachel's POV**

I tried to find a place in the house that wasn't covered in memories of Finn. It was hard; we had spent so much time there when we had been younger.

I finally settled on sitting in one of the swings that my fathers had put up shortly after I first told them I was pregnant. It hadn't been used much. Finn wasn't much for visiting Lima.

I felt bad for exploding on Finn like I had, despite the fact that he'd had it coming. I felt even more terrible for implying that Quinn and I were together. Granted, he had made the implication first, but I hadn't corrected him, I had just gone with it.

I hoped Quinn wasn't getting harassed by Finn or anybody else because of it.

"Rachel?" Finn called from the back door.

I looked up at him.

"Can we talk?" he asked.

I merely nodded as he walked towards me.

He sat down beside me.

"Why Quinn?" he finally asked.

"It's not like I chose her," I told him, "She's my best friend, Finn, and I don't want to lose that. When I realized I had feelings for her, I tried to fight them. I couldn't help it, though. It's just how I feel."

Finn just nodded.

"It's not like it matters," I said glumly, "She doesn't feel the same way."

"What do you mean?" Finn asked.

"I mean, to Quinn, I'm just her best friend."

"I thought you guys were together," he said.

I shook my head, "No, Finn, I told Quinn how I felt, and nothing came of it."

Finn scratched his head, "What did she say?"

"You're married."

"That's it?" Finn asked.

I wasn't sure why he cared. What did it matter anyway?

"I told her I was going to divorce you, and she told me that I was still married. She rejected me, and I started to cry. She pulled me into her arms like she always did when I cried over you and told me that no matter what happened, she would always be my best friend."

Finn just nodded.

"I get it now," Finn said, "She's good for you, you know?"

I turned to face him.

"You get _what_ now?" I asked.

Finn looked down at his feet, "I talked to Quinn before I left."

I braced myself. I wondered if any punches had been thrown. Considering it was Finn and Quinn you could never be sure.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Nothing, we just…talked."

I remained silent, waiting for him to go on.

"I didn't believe her when she told me that you weren't together. But I could tell she only wanted the best for you. That's what I want, too. And it's clear now, that I'm not good for you. I realize I haven't been there for you or Zach or Josephine, and I'm sorry."

I hadn't been expecting this. I could tell he was being sincere. He actually meant all of this. I thought for sure he would put up more of a fight. I was sure that whatever words he and Quinn had had earlier had made him see how he'd been acting.

"I'll sign the papers," Finn said, "I just, can you promise me one thing?"

"That would depend on what you want me to promise," I told him.

"Well, two things," Finn amended, "First, make sure they know that I love them. I don't want them thinking that I don't, cause I do. I'm obviously not in the running for father of the year, but I really do love them. Both of them."

"Of course, Finn," I said, putting my hand on his. They were his children, too. I would make sure that they knew that.

"I know I won't get custody of them, and it's probably better for them that way, but I'd like to be able to visit them. I don't want to just disappear."

I nodded, "As long as you clear it with me first, of course you can see them. They'd love that."

Finn nodded. He took the divorce papers out of his pocket, signed them and handed them to me.

I had tears in my eyes as I took the papers from him. It hadn't been a perfect marriage. Far from it, in fact. Still, despite how unhappy we had been, it was sad to see it come to and end.

"Thank you," I said, "For not making this harder than it already is."

"I'll always love you, Rach."

I simply nodded in response.

"Is it okay if I stay here for a little while?" Finn asked, "I want to say goodbye to the kids."

"Of course."

* * *

**I just want to say that despite the Finn-bashing that appears in so many Faberry fics, I don't think Finn ever intends to be a douche, and I really wanted that to show in this chapter. He realizes that he hasn't been being a good guy, and he wants to fix things. He realizes that, though he doesn't want to, letting Rachel go is what's best for his family. **

**That said, I'm not a big fan of Finn, and in the future chapters of this story, he will not be in it much, though he may or may not be prominent in flashbacks/memories and thoughts.**

**Again, that being said: it's time to work on some Faberry moments :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Quinn's POV**

I knocked on Rachel's fathers' front door, as I always did. They've told me plenty of times to just let myself in, but being raised in the way I was, it just never felt right. Probably similar to the number of times I've told Rachel to let herself in to my apartment, but she knocks every time just the same.

"Who is it?" I heard JoJo yell through the door.

I chuckled. I was glad she'd learned not to open doors for just anybody.

I mustered up the funny voice I used with her and Zach. "It's the Tickle Monster!" I yelled.

I could hear her running away from the door, screaming "You can't get me!"

I soon heard someone approaching the door, and I could tell by the footsteps that it was Rachel. When she opened the door, her eyes were red and puffy, her mascara smudged, and she was gently clutching some papers.

"It's official" Rachel said, holding out the papers. I took them from her, looking over them quickly. They were her divorce papers. Completely filled out and signed by both her and Finn.

I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. I just opened my arms to her, and let her cry on my shoulder. Let her weep for the loss of her marriage. After all, they had been married for over a decade, it was a lot to say goodbye to.

After a few minutes I picked her up and carried her inside, gently kicking the door closed behind us. I silently thanked God for Sue Sylvester because without her crazy psychotic way of coaching the Cheerios, I wouldn't have been able to pick Rachel up like this. I put her down on the couch, never letting her out of my arms.

Zach screamed, and I felt Rachel move to get up.

**Rachel's POV**

"I got him," Quinn said, "Just relax, Rach."

I watched as Quinn disappeared upstairs to get my son. It's odd thinking of Zachariah and Josephine as my children and not our children, as Quinn had practically raised them with me.

I can't say that it doesn't hurt every day, knowing Quinn doesn't feel for me the way I do for her, but I love that she's still the same as she's always been. My rock, the shoulder I cry on. She's still every bit the best friend she was before I told her how I felt and she said she wasn't interested. I had been worried that it would change. Doesn't it always? When you break up with someone and you promise each other you'll still be friends, it just never happens. The same way unreciprocated feelings change everything. Only nothing changed between us. And I was eternally grateful for that.

I heard Zachariah's giggles from where I sat on the couch, so I followed them upstairs.

Quinn was a natural mom. She was so good with the kids. I watched as she pretended to chase Zachariah around the room, and he ran as fast as his little legs would carry him, giggling like crazy. Quinn stayed two steps behind him the whole time, pretending that he was faster than her, until she decided to scoop him up into her arms and pepper him with kisses.

I don't think she even realized I was in the room until Zachariah said "Mama, no!"

**Quinn's POV**

I froze at little Zach's words. I looked up at Rachel. She was his mother, not me. Sure, I had spent lots of time with them, helping Rachel out, and loving them as if they were my own kids, but there's something different when Zach said it.

It warmed my heart to know that Zach thought of me as a parent, but I was scared what Rachel might think. Did she think that I was replacing her.

Rachel seemed to be smiling, so I relaxed, letting the little tyke run to her.

"Mommy!" Zach squealed.

Rachel opened her arms letting Zach run into them.

I couldn't help but notice how he seemed to have differentiated Rachel and I as "Mama" and "Mommy".

I wished that I could be his Mama, but it was too soon. I wasn't sure what had been settled between Finn and Rachel, and I couldn't risk messing anything up for Rachel. I had already messed enough things up for her back in high school.

Seeing Rachel with her kids always made me fall in love with her all over again. I couldn't wait until I could sweep her off her feet like I've always wanted to.

I also worried that I had messed things up between us that night she told me she had feelings for me. It had taken all my self-restraint not to kiss her right then, but it would all be worth it in the end. It would all work out, and Rachel and I would get our happily ever after. We had to.

I heard the pitter patter of little steps and JoJo made her way into the room. She wasn't wearing her usual happy-go-lucky grin that seemed to brighten the world when she was around. Her eyes looked so sad.

"Mommy," she said.

"What's wrong sweetie?"

"Why did daddy leave?" she asked. "I thought he was gonna play with us til we went home?"

I felt my heart break, hearing JoJo speak those words felt like daggers. I couldn't help but wonder whether this was all my heart, though I knew, deep down, that Finn had dug this hole all on his own.

"Oh baby," Rachel said.

JoJo started to cry. "Why doesn't daddy love us?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Quinn's POV**

"Josephine India Hudson" I said sternly. I made sure to keep my voice soft and sweet because she had done nothing wrong.

I took her little hands in mine and looked her in the eyes. "Your daddy loves you, don't you ever question that."

"But…" JoJo said.

"No 'but's young lady. Your daddy loves you. He always has and he always will. No matter what has happened or what will happen. He loves you and your brother more than anything in the world," I said.

"The reason Daddy's not here right now is because Mommy and Daddy are getting what grown-ups call a divorce," Rachel said.

The look in Rachel's eyes told me she knew she wasn't explaining this the right way for a four-year-old. I was pretty sure she didn't know how to tell her kids that she was leaving their father. It wouldn't be an easy thing for anybody.

"What's a divorce?" JoJo asked.

"A divorce is kind of like a super time-out for grown-ups," I said.

Rachel looked relieved that I had taken over.

"Your daddy's been having a hard time behaving properly for a while now. He doesn't mean to, but he acts out without thinking about it. Daddy needs some time alone to think about his behavior. The difference between a divorce and a time-out is that when the time-out is over, your daddy and your mommy don't go back to playing together like you go back to playing with your friends after a time-out. They find new people to play with," I explained.

"So Daddy can't come back?" JoJo asked.

"Your daddy can't play with your mommy like he used to, but both your daddy and your mommy will always be able to play with you and Zach. The divorce doesn't change that part."

**Rachel's POV**

I was so thankful for Quinn. I don't know what I would have done without her there helping me. She was so good explaining what Finn and I getting divorced meant in terms that she could understand. I couldn't face telling Josephine that I was leaving Finn. I was afraid that she would hate me for it.

Quinn put Zachariah and Josephine to bed for me. She told me that I needed some time to myself and that I should just relax. It was too difficult to relax though, with all the thoughts running through my mind.

What happens now? Would Josephine and Zachariah be okay? I had a feeling that Zachariah would be just fine. He hadn't really spent much time with Finn anyway, and hopefully Finn would get his act together and step up to be the father they deserve. Josephine though, she's had a taste of how Finn used to be. She remembers that Finn used to be around. Did I screw things up for them? Who gets the house?

"Want to talk about it?" I heard Quinn ask.

I looked up at Quinn. She was half smiling, but the concern in her eyes shone through clearly.

I blinked, unsure of whether or not I wanted to burden Quinn with all the questions in my head.

Quinn sat down next to me.

"You don't have to," Quinn said. "If you don't want to talk, that's okay, but just, you know I'm always here if you do, right?"

"I know," I said. I leaned my head on her shoulder. Quinn wrapped her arm around me, squeezing lightly.

"I did the right thing, right Quinn?" I asked.

"Are you still in love with him?" Quinn asked.

"No." I shook my head as best I could without lifting it from Quinn's shoulder. "I love him, I always will. How could I not? He's blessed me with Josephine and Zachariah, but I haven't been in love with him for a while. But I wasn't talking about me. Did I ruin his relationship with the kids? Should I have toughed it out for them?"

"Finn's going to come around." Quinn said. "He'll figure this out eventually, and the kids will be just fine. But if for some reason, his relationships with them are ruined. It's entirely his fault, Rach. There's nothing more you could have done for them. The fact is: you're not in love with him anymore, and while that's true, even if Finn was around and being the good father we both know he can be, it's still the right thing to do."

I grabbed Quinn's free hand and squeezed it. She always knew just what to say. I couldn't have asked for a better best friend. If only… No. I couldn't go down that road right now. It's not what Quinn wanted.

"What about the house?" I asked Quinn.

"That's up to you and Finn." Quinn answered. "I would recommend that you talk to your lawyer about it though."

"You are my lawyer," I mumbled.

"I'm not the one you used for your divorce papers."

It was true. I hadn't used Quinn as my divorce lawyer. I didn't want her to be caught up in it.

"Sorry," I mumbled, "But you're still my lawyer."

"If you want it, I'm sure you could get it. Particularly with custody of the kids. If you don't want it, you have two options: leave it for Finn, or sell it and split the money."

"Where would Finn"

"I don't know, Rach. Maybe one of his poker buddies would let him crash for a while."

"I don't want him to have nowhere to go."

"Talk it over with your _divorce_ lawyer and Finn. Think about what makes the most sense for your family. If you think staying in the house is best, strive for it. If you think selling it is best, sell it. If you think leaving it to Finn is best, let him have it. You know you and the kids can always stay with me."

"Thank you Quinn, for the advice. I don't think that staying with you is wise, given my feelings for you. I know you don't feel the same way, and I wouldn't want it to be awkward."


End file.
